Sunday, 18 May 2008

Animal diaries

John, my father-in-law sent me this. I thought it was hilarious and very true. Hope you like it.

Excerpts from a Dogs Diary...

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.


They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

11 comments:

Elizabethd said...

Debra, how funny! Just shows how very intelligent a cat is, yes?!
thanks for popping over, it was nice of you to comment on my garden.

Sam said...

Very funny! Reminds me of a book I read once called Felidae - well worth reading

Carol and Chris said...

That made me laugh out loud!! Thanks for sharing it :-)

C x

The Lehners in France said...

Debra, apart from 8am Dogs life, you've just described my husband's perfect day! Debs x

Mean Mom said...

That's so clever! Dogs do seem to be so easily pleased. Why did we opt for cats, then? It must be something to do with the challenge of earning their affection, I think!

aims said...

They don't say cats rule for nothing!! Why do you think they were on the walls of the pyramids?! Smart I tell you....

Stew said...

Classic Larson cartoon:
What we say to dogs - "OK Ginger! I've had it! You stay out of the garbage! Understand Ginger? Stay out of the garbage, or else!"
What they hear - blah blah, Ginger. blah blah blah blha blah Ginger blah blah blah

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sluggerotoole/153603564/

Maggie May said...

Cats seem far more intelligent somehow! And better educated. You can tell by the way they write!
Dogs sound more vulgar! How come I never noticed this before! LOL

Living the Dream said...

Oh how true that all is. Don't we just love them??

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog and your vote for my funniest blog in the best of blogs awards - you are a star!

Debra in France said...

Hi Everyone, I am glad you all liked the animal diaries, and thank you for all your comments. Debra :-) xx