Monday, 28 April 2008

Watch your P's and Q's

Some days posts are like buses, nothing for ages then 2 at once!

I have just been watching Loose Women on tv, and they were talking about manners, and what gets them annoyed. It was really interesting hearing about things that gets them riled, and thought it would make a good blog subject. We can all have a get off our chests.

1. Please and Thank you. Last year one of my cousins came to stay with his mum (my auntie). He is in his late 40's, single and intelligent. He was good company except for the fact that he NEVER ONCE said please or thank you. I would ask him if he wanted a cup of tea, he would just say 'yeah'. I cooked dinner everynight, as soon as he finished his meal he would leave the table, leave his plate on the table, his chair pushed out and go and sit in the other room and read. No thank you that was lovely, no I'll do the washing up tonight, it drove me mad.

One afternoon he and OH were upstairs on the internet and Auntie and I put the kettle on for a cuppa. Cousin arrived downstairs and asked if we were making tea, I said yes and asked if he wanted one, 'yeah' was the reply. I thought sod it, I'm not making it. I made one for me and auntie and he looked at me as if to say where's mine. I told him that he hadn't said the magic word. He had no idea what I was talking about, and asked what magic word did I mean. He mum growled 'please' at him and then he just said 'oh. yeah. please'. I made him a cup but he never said please for the rest of his stay.

OH has got a bad habit of saying 'yeah, sure' when I ask if he would like a drink, dinner, eggs for breakfast, anything if fact where a please could be used. It drives me MENTAL. It is so rude. I told him this weekend that unless he said please, I wouldn't do it.

2. Punctuality. I have spent years as a hairdresser working to a strict appointment schedule. I can count of one hand the times I have kept a client waiting. I feel that it is rude and inconsiderate to be late for someone. To me it is like saying 'my time is more important than yours, and I don't care about your time'. I worked with a girl who was permanently late. She would arrive for work late, faff around putting her bag away and lunch in the fridge. Be late checking her appointmen list for the day and printing off client records. Her first client was 9am. She would finally get to see her at around 9.20, spend ten minutes discussing their hair, get them shampooed, and start them at 9.45 just as her second client was walking through the door. Her saving grace was that she was an excellent hairdresser and that everyone got their full 45 mins not matter how late she was.

3. Being ungracious. If I have given something to someone I appreciate a thank you. You don't have to go into raptures but It would be nice to have something more than a grunt, or a 'cheers', a word that I personally think should be kept for when you are drinking and clink your glasses together. Whenever I gave my dad a christmas/birthday present he would unwrap it and say 'oh, what did you buy this for?' or 'why did you spend your money on this?'. How ungracious can you get.

These are just 3 of my many things that get me mad. What gets on your nerves? I'd love to know.

On a lighter note, there are lots of ticks around this years. We check the cats several times a day, as they pick them up while they are walking through long grass in the fields. We have a little hook thingy that removes them safely and easily. Rosie and Jemima get them around their necks mainly, Josh doesn't often get them as he doesn't go far from home, and Misty gets them everywhere - including on her bum!

Yes, there was a tick at the base of her tail where it joins her bum. Trying to get it off was a major feat. We tried just lifting her tail, but she became a bundle of claws. We tried wrapping her in a sweatshirt and lifting her tail but she wriggled out of the sweatshirt. OH and I were giggling like idiots, Misty was hissing away and trying to bite and claw any part of us that went near her, to a passer-by it must have looked hilarious. Anyway, I finally pinned her down and OH got the tick off.


dND said...

I think my list would be the same. I was always taught that good manners cost nothing.

Your 40 year old cousin is still single, now I wonder why that could be... :-)

As for the punctuality, I must admit it has lapsed a bit here but I generally aim to be on time. I don't like to be kept waiting around so I don't think I should keep others waiting.

Ticks - it's usually my very long haired cat, Hazel that gets the ticks since she is the one always out hunting in the long grass. Up to now, Frontline has been really good at killing them but I also bought one of those tick twister things. They are really good. I took a tick off her the other day and proceeded to drown it in water with a bit of washing up solution in it.
When I checked back 12 hours later I spotted 2 ticks, the larger one I had seen on her plus a much smaller black one which was still alive! I think the little one was a male and they sometimes mate while the female is feeding.

Maggie May said...

I find the kids at school snatch things instead of take them. They never say please or thank you. I always praise the kids that do & go really over the top with it hoping the others will catch on
I once withheld something from a child & said, "What's the magic word?" The child replied "Abracadabra!".

I am very punctual myself so can't understand why others are not.
I don't like people to barge in front of me when I go through a door. I quite like a person who will open a door for me & I always say thank you. Same if anyone gives up a seat in the bus, I always say "how kind.'
Manners don't cost anything & mean so much.

aims said...

I kept say Yes to everything you wrote! Grrrrrr...makes me so cranky when people are like that! And Deb has it absolutely right when she questioned why he is still single at 40...who would want him?

As for the ticks - ugh! Thankfully we do not have many of them here...erghhh.....

Have missed you girl! You were one of my first commenters along with Breezy and IBeatrice....and you introduced me to Hazel who has turned into such a lovely friend...thank you!

Debra in France said...

Hi dnd, I cannot imagine anyone putting up with my cousin. The problem is that the longer he is single the more set in his ways he will become. It's a shame as being an archaeologist he is really interesting.

Hi Maggie May, Isn't it a shame when kids are not taught manners. It makes such a difference,

Hi Aims, I am glad I am not the only one who feels like this! Blogging is great, I am glad you like Hazel, she lived a couple of villages away from me in the UK and is just a truly lovely person.

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Spot on Debra, I really can't stand bad manners, or a lack of them. That cousin sounds so ungracious and I thoroughly agree - who would want him? Why don't people realise that good manners are a virtue, and so attractive? One of my other pet hates is the misuse of English - things like "bored of" instead of bored with and "should of" instead of should have! I have an English degree and taught English too - so I guess that's why. M :-)

david mcmahon said...

G'day from Oz,

Came here from Granny May's blog. These virtues never, ever go out of fashion ....

Debra in France said...

Hi mothers place, I can't stand those two grammar errors either! OH says 'should of' all the time, and writes it in emails, luckily if he is writing to a client he gets me to proof read them, so at least I can correct it.

Hi David, thank you for visiting from Oz. Hope you are having a good day. I can't bear bad manners, and once learnt they stand you in good stead for your whole life.

The Lehners in France said...

Hi Debra, oh you are sooo right with the please and thank you thing. Especially when you have visitors who have no transport and you spend 10 days to 3 weeks running around after them. Some never offer to help either! I also get annoyed when I send presents and never get a thank you, so I've stopped sending them now. Punctuality, I always tried to be on time. I did however drive all the way to Aberdeen from Herts to discover my client had taken the day off !
Ticks, try spot on combi, saves the fight and our fluffy felines are armed on all four corners. Debs

CrazyCath said...

Hi - I came over via David's and been from Maggie's I think too.

I totally agree with every one of these. Bad manners grate on me! My grandma used to hold on to an item she was handing over until she heard "thank you" and I do the same now!

It is so rude and so easy just to say please or thank you, and it doesn't take a minute to apologise for lateness.

Spot on. Great post.

Carolyn said...

Manners are SO important. I thought this was a brilliant post. Two days a week I take our daughter to preschool. When we are finished, I always make sure she says a proper look-you-in-the-eye thank you to all three of her teachers, individually. I'm proud to say that after months of doing this, she is learning to do it without being asked. What amazes me is that I'm the only mum who does this with their child. Everybody else just walks out and says nothing. I think it's incredibly rude to have someone educate and care for your child for two hours and then not be polite enough to thank them. Sheeesh!! Enough of my rambling. Great post.

David sent me. Glad he did.

farming-frenchstyle said...

Yes, I agree. Please and thank you cost nothing but can mean everything. I'm surprised how well my kids do with P and TY - their father doesn't do "good manners". You have to ask if his grunt is a "yes" grunt or a "no" grunt. In all, he is an ignorant git, but my kids are great.

Debra in France said...

Hi Debs, we have had visitors like that. We had a 'friend' who after visiting us liked the area so much she bought a house in the next village. She had the signings done by proxy and came out the day after. She phoned me 2 days before she was coming and said I am arriving on Weds, you'll pick me up at the airport won't you? I'll be staying with you for 3 days we can go and sort out a new kitchen, bathroom and look at tiles!! My Mum in Law was coming out the day after she left, (we only have 1 spare room) I had to get all the bedding washed and dried in January with no dryer!! She didn't say thank you either! On the tick front we have been using Frontline, but will try spot-on, thanks you xx

Hi Crazy Cath, thank you for visiting, I shall come and visit you as well. I agree with your grandma, what a good idea.

Hi Carolyn, thank you for visiting my blog, I look forward to reading yours. How lovely that your daughter is doing it on her own now. She will carry that over to other occasions as well. It is incredible that other parents do not do the same.

Hi Farming frenchstyle, how funny, my husband has a 'yes' and 'no'grunt. My dad does as well, I remember mum saying exactly the same as you - 'Ernie, was that grunt a yes or a no?'. Is it just men?