Monday 19 November 2007

Right Decision

Ooh, 2 posts in one day! We made the decision just over 3 years ago to sell up and come to France. We have never regretted it or questioned this decision. The way of life in the UK is to work your bits off until you retire and then spend time with your husband/wife. Mmm, bit of a flaw here - what happens if one of you isn't around at retirement age?

This is what happened with my parents. Dad worked really hard all his life, Mum stayed at home while us 4 kids were young, then had a local part-time job for a while. We were not at all well off, but our childhood was idyllic thanks to them. We lived in a little village in Buckinghamshire having moved from North London when I was 3. We went to a village school, played in the woods and fields, bought frogspawn home in a jam jar in the spring, played conkers in the autumn and built snowmen in the winter. Anyway, 4 or 5 years ago mum was diagnosed with cancer and died just after dad retired. All that time working and now he is on his own. The same thing happened with my mother in laws best friend, and another of her friends dropped dead with a stroke.

We came to the conclusion that life was too short. We have had some amazing holidays together, OH and I didn't meet until I was 30 and he was 32 and we both had a great time up to that point - we both travelled alot and had some great experiences. We didn't want to have any children, we had renovated a victorian house in the UK which we sold before we came to France. Neither of us are materialistic, we don't care about new cars or keeping up with the Jones's. We decided to spend our time together now because sho nows what the future will hold. We have not taken early retirement, we both work here.

I had always wanted to have an old house, a big garden, chickens and roses round the door. It sounds a bit of a cliche but this is what I have now except the roses are wisteria. I love wandering down the garden to feed the chickens and get the eggs, with my kitten Misty following me. I love going out to dig up veg for dinner. Yes, there are places in this world which I would love to go to, but unless we win the lottery I will not get to see them, but they are only holidays, this is for life. However, I never thought I would live in France, I always thought I would live in India. In my 20's I had a dream that I was sitting on a doorstep writing a letter, I was wearing a sari and the dream was so vivid I could smell everything around me. I woke up wondering where I was. I think I knew then that I would not grow old in the UK. I have been lucky enough to go to India and Sri Lanka and they were the most beautiful places I have seen, I felt really at home there. Maybe when I am old and grey I will move on.

Well, bit of a digression and a bit of a change from my last post - funny how your mind wanders about. Well, this decision was the right one for us.

14 comments:

Swearing Mother said...

I think you're doing what a lot of us dream of, and well done for taking that step. It sounds wonderful.

Debra in France said...

Hi Swearing Mother, I am glad we made the move. It was difficult at first not knowing anyone and not having a definite routine to my day. We now have some wonderful friends, the language is really coming on now and the house is 98% finished.

Elizabethd said...

Hi Debra, thanks for your comments on my blog...wonder how you found me? It sounds as though you have settled well over here. We are in Brittany, not sure where your area is.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Debra darling - a wonderful post. You write in such a way that I just want to keep reading more. You are so fluid and there is no pretension in your prose.

I know about the major decisions we make when we experience a death of a parent and you had the courage to go off and find a new life with your lovely OH. There is no doubt that you are lovely too otherwise he would not have made such a life changing move with you. Just because you get a bit moody every month doesn't make you a bad person - most men understand like my lovely husband who has been through hell and back with my menopause symptoms which thankfully are under control with HRT.

Your life sounds calm and idylic and I am an awe you both had the courage to up sticks and go. We keep talking about it - one day perhaps. Great post.

Breezy said...

Lots of time yet for India or maybe global warming will catch up with you here in France! Who knows what's round the corner.

farming-frenchstyle said...

A neighbouring farmer recently sold his farm, but then went down with leukimia - sadly he died 2 days before signing the Acte on his farm. Now his wife has to carry on farming until the whole mess is sorted out because of the inheritance laws here. I hope we manage to sell and have more than a few years, as we are planning to do so much. As you say, France is lovely, and we wouldn't dream of returning to the UK. (If only I'd paid more attention in French lessons at school!)

Debra in France said...

Hi Elizabeth, thank you for visiting me. I found your blog from a link on another blog. I will try and remember whose it was. Our nearest large town is Limoges in the Haute Vienne (87). If you look at a map, look at the centre of France and see Clemont Ferrand, then go left until you see Limoges, we are 20 mins north of the town in an area called the Monts de Blond.

Hi MOB Thank you for you lovely comments abouts my blog. I have to say that as much as my husband drives me mental, he is great. Bless him, this morning we were having a cuddle before we got up and he said ' we'll make the end room however you want it' and then 'when would you like to put up the xmas decorations?' He knows I love decorating the tree and hanging up holly, I don't know if he would bother himself but he tolerates all my daft ways.

Hi Breezy I could use a bit of global warming after the crap summer we've had here.

Hi Farming Frenchstyle Your poor neighbour. French inheritance laws are a nightmare although I have heard that they have plans to change them. You mentioned selling up, are you going to stay in the same area

Stew said...

Haute Vienne eh? That makes us practically neighbours since I'm next door in the Charente. Served about the same time too - 4 years this September passed.

Debra in France said...

Hello Stew, thanks for visiting me. Neigbours is right, you are just up the road by about 35/40 mins (well the border of the Charente is). We have been here 3 years on 10th December.

Stew said...

Debra - after nearly 2 years of blogging, I am only now starting to find bloggers of a similar cloth.
I notice you have the britblog link (as do I) but I find britblog to be a very big bucket.
So I've taken the liberty of starting a French Blogger blogroll and put you on it.
If it grows it could be a useful and interesting resource.
Info here: http://terrecuite.blogspot.com/2007/11/new-chez-nous.html

Stinking Billy said...

Of course you posted two in one day. The second one was a repair job and, if I might say, while there was nothing outrageous in the first, you did the right thing - and did it beautifully.

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Hi Debra, a lovely blog post, and your life sounds just perfect. I have left it rather later than you - but still hope to move soon -when the 'children' settle!. Billy has both of us in his latest production, so though I would say 'hello'.
Best regards, Margot xx

Debra in France said...

Hello Mothers Place, thank you for visiting me, and for letting me know about Billy's production - what a wonderful read. Are you planning on moving abroad? I can recommend it whole heartedly.

Debra in France said...

Hi Billy, thank you for your lovely comments. It was lovely to get things of my chest. :-)